It’s been said, there’s no place like home; but the flip side of that is, you can’t go back home. I have found both to be true. Being in Memphis again has caused me great anxiety. Too many bad memories that I quite frankly don’t want to deal with. Too many reminders of better times and worse times. Too many sweet remembrances and way too many harsh realities. Even visiting with all my friends is bittersweet and can be somewhat awkward once the gossip is out of the way.
That said, I have a bond with Memphis and the mid-south. I was born and raised here, worked here most of my life (until I moved to Hawaii), and have forged lifelong friendships through the many trials, tribulations and tragedies of every day living. It is a love/hate relationship I have with this city, and being here causes all these emotions, thoughts and anxieties to surface.
My time in Hawaii allowed me to heal and grow tremendously, and leaving is very difficult; but perhaps it’s time to face some of the monsters under my bed and see if I’m strong enough not to crawl in the corner in a fetal position. Perhaps then I will be better prepared to move forward to my next adventure in Europe.
So bring it on Memphis! I’m ready to face whatever you got. I’m not hiding in the corner any more.
YOU GO GIRL! (I’m saying this in my uplifting and positive Weezie voice). You have been such an inspiration to me, and I know to many others in Hawaii, and have taught me to be able to laugh at myself and enjoy it. Just being around you and working with you has made me a stronger and positive person. Go and attack those monsters in your closet with vengence and know that all of your Ohana in Hawaii are cheering you on, and still jealous of your fabulous adventure that’s waiting for you. 🙂 We all love you very much and wish you the best time ever. We know you’ll be back to Hawaii one day and we’ll be here waiting for you with open arms. Aloha to you, and thanks for sharing your blog with us.
Thank you sweet Lucy!! Please know that YOU have made a huge difference in my life and have enabled the healing that I talk about. Having you as my able teammate, friend and side kick Robin, enriched my work experience and my life. I’m ever grateful to you, and I can hear you cheering all the way in Memphis!!! 🙂 Much love and aloha!
Take good care of yourself remember the “Peaceful Moments” here in Hawaii just close your eyes remember the sweet flower smells in AIR….Aloha 🙂
Weez, your strength and courage is awe inspiring. You have faced challenges that would destroy a person and yet here you are, stronger and healthier than ever, and facing demons from the past with courage and positivity. So, bring it! Game on! My Weezie can deal with the past and look at her exciting future squarely in the eyes while whipping up vegan lasagne and belting out Janis Joplin! You are amazing and you are loved. Love, TamTam